BEFORE
Some Breakups are harder than others, I didn’t get over Jordan for like 3 months. That horrible feeling in your gut, your heart sinks every time you think about them. Movies and music all remind you of that one moment or person. You have to decide if that person is worth fighting for or just to let them go.
DURING
Pride always stopped me from trying to get a girl back. I would always be like they wanna leave fine, peace bitches there is the door. But In my longest relationship, I really thought I would spend my whole life with that one person. When someone is that important to you, your pride doesn’t matter.
AFTER
I always heard of closure but I don’t think I ever felt it till this time. I fell in love with someone that changed there personality completely for me I fell in love with that. They were cold before and it was like a complete 180. But after the break up when someone is happy with being cold and you fell in love with that other personality. That person made the choice that they have been hurt by you to many times before and they don’t wanna feel like that any longer. Love the way you lie is a perfect description our relationship… (except no physical abuse except during sex ;) ) She gave her all to me and forgot everyone else and she couldn’t do that again. I didn’t want that either. She no longer wanted to be that warm gushy person, She liked being alone again and us just friends. That moment I knew she wasn’t the one. Just like that the pain vanished. What a fucking relieve I didn’t want to feel like that again for 3 months like with Jordan. But me and Jordan never had closure.
EPILOGUE
Putting my walls down and pride-fullness didn’t make me feel worse it made me realize that the reason break ups are so bad is cause you lost someone special someone you thought possibly could be that one but you don’t realize how wrong that person was for you till you really try and make an effort to save something that can’t be saved. Only then does your body, heart, and mind finally let go of the pain. In away I think that the break up pain is your bodies way of trying to make you fix things and closure is the only way to say to your body, mind and heart that hey the ONE is out there still, and she’s definitely not it. And I wouldn’t of learned all that unless I went through what I went through. It was the Break up that taught me something.
